M"alice" In Wonderland

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I
got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.
But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah,
that's the great puzzle!" - Lewis Carroll

So with Alice in Wonderland being the big to do thing now, the old wheels have got to spinning. I have been wondering lately about the well being and where abouts of ol' Alfred. He used to tease me and call me Alice saying the stories of my life could only be from wonderland. It was a cute name. I enjoyed it at the time. Since all the things fell out from the group back home I can only guess he is somewhere doing his "own thing" Code for "No one wants to be bothered with my bullshit". And while he was a clueless something, he did add some important elements to my experience. Number 1 - Never trust a Dom who wants to just train or mentor. Number 2 - Check references. Number 3 - Any man who hides, deserves his ass beat. Number 3 makes me giggle. Never had a man hide behind his door before but I should have known better. A coward hiding behind the title of Dominant. But all in all, I do wonder about how he is doing and his girl.

So as I have been amusing myself with old memories I have started to wonder about the idea of looking up people from my past. Seeing how they are, how life has changed, etc. I have often wondered about the consequences of such actions, good and bad. I have not really looked up many people I have lost contact with but with the internet nowadays and facebook, twitter, etc. I can find almost anyone. I have wondered what would I say? "Hey there, just wanted to see whats new. Ohh no, didn't really want chat...just being nosey" Unfortunately, for several cases I have no real desire to respark a relationship, intimate or platonic, but rather feed an active curiosity and move on with the rest of my being. I blame it on my Aquarian traits. I wonder if it is a smart move. I wonder if people are purposely not in my life for certain reasons or if it is truly that I didn't try hard enough to keep them around. I find that lately I am letting more and more people slip from my life. I really want to focus on keeping the most important ones and not wasting time and energy on those who are fleeting. I don't know if this is the best tactic for living ones life but like all other things...I will see. I would like to see Aaron once more. Perhaps see what happened in his life, even though I already know from bored google searches. I would like to see my professor again even though we chat quite frequently on facebook. It's only a matter of time before that situation comes to a predictable climax. I wonder about John, who brought me in to this bittersweet lifestyle. I wonder if he ever wonders about me. So many names and faces I have encountered through the years in this lifestyle that just thinking about it makes me a little sentimental. I wonder too about Dave, my Sandman, who in some way or another, I have always wanted to make a "proud papa" of the lil girl he helped to groom. I would make the trip for him without blinking. So many people...so many memories. My mind is overwhelmed lately. Wow..overwhelmed is a misnomer.

Alice's rabbit hole keeps getting deeper....the tale twists a little more each day.