Mark

His name is Mark.

I have a co-worker named Mark who has awaken something in me that is scary and exciting. I have never had a significant conversation with Mark and know very little about him. He is not insanely attractive but there is something about him that makes me feel...weak. He is a very quiet and private person. He rarely speaks. But there is something in his eyes that says everything. He intimidates me. His eyes always feel like they are looking at me...through me. I can't look him in the eye. I usually smile shyly and my eyes hit the floor immediately. I have tried several times to look him in the eye but I can't. I choke every time I say Hi. I fidget when he is around, not sure where to look, put my hands, what to say... I am an utter mess and somehow I want more of it. I know when his smoke break is. I find excuses to go outside or even watch him from the window. Part of me wonders what he thinks when he sees me. If he thinks anything at all. I somehow find myself wanting to get closer to him and yet keep him at a distance. I wish he knew how much I want to lay at his feet and rub my cheek against his leg. There is something in the way that he looks at me that makes me want to obey. I have spent countless moments in the bathroom masturbating to the thought of him making me do whatever, in front of whoever. My God, its pulling at a part of me that hasn't been this alert in years. I am an unowned slave drowning in the need to be owned.

I wish he knew...