Patience

So after a bunch of back and forth discussion with myself I decided to get up and head to my meeting.

I stopped by the mall and did some small shopping and then headed to the meeting. I got there on time which was different as I usually try to get there early and get my hotel room and take a short nap. I was still debating on staying over night or not. The presentation was rather dry. I found myself sending text messages to keep awake. I convinced a friend of mine to stay for the party. She agreed so I decided to go ahead and check into the hotel. It was actually a good thing because my reservation was never recorded and I ended up sleeping in the room that would have been C and G's.

My friend and I went to dinner and during the conversation I was a bit taken back to hear from her that she too had O's phone number. Immediately I started to wonder if his invitation was genuine. My feelings were kinda hurt and I sent a text to my friend who sent a reassuring message to me that from what she saw, he was very much interested.

That night we went to the party and I dressed up like a school girl to go with the Back to School theme. I have to admit that the place was decorated very well. They really put some work into it. However, after last weekend my eyes were opened in a new way. With the exception of myself, my friend and my ex there were no other black people present. I immediately felt singled out. And add to that most were older and not anyone I was interested in playing with. I did a little bit of caning with my ex but he was more interested in my friend. She pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to go with her to swinger club. I quickly agreed and we headed out. Now this was my first time at this club and it was quite nice really. I got approached by a man who asked if he could lick my pussy. I smiled and shrugged and said sure. He actually was pretty good. I really wasn't interested in having sex with some random guy, no matter how many condoms he had on. But watching was another story. I had a great time just sitting around and watching other people. I'd love to bring my friend there one day. He would love it. I was tired so I left early. But I really had a good time. I danced with a drunk topless housewife. Ha! Now I can check that off my of things to do in my life.

I went to the mall again today and much to my surprise I got a call from O and his girl. I was really excited to hear from them and the call really removed my doubt. He asked if I was still coming to meet them and I asked if he was serious and he said yes. So hopefully the dates I emailed to them will work. I would love to make the trip.

On my way home I stopped by A's house since he didn't come to the meeting. His car was out in front but he didn't answer the door or my calls. I left a sticky note on his patio that said "It would be nice if you could let people know you are ok". I know he was there. Its times like this when I tell God "thank you" for the small blessings. Could you imagine where I would be if I had signed that contract?

So I think I learned a lesson this weekend. My lesson is that I need more patience. I need to have more faith in time. I got a really irritating letter from financial aid today so instead of storming in the office I have decided to let my professor handle it. I need to practice more self control and patience and trust in those who have more power than I do. Who wants a counselor who flies off the handle? Yeah, I thought so.