The Story of J

This is my diary.

These are my words, thoughts, feelings, sucesses, failures, desires and fears.

This is my life.

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Thursday, April 14, 2011

New Skin

So one of the things I have held on to all these years in my journey is that everyone that ever hurt me would one day have the favor returned to them. And I would pray that I would be around to get my laughs in and say a big "I told you so!" The last few weeks have given rise to such occasions. And while I should be busy laughing and pointing the finger like an obnoxious school yard bully I just don't feel the same way about it anymore. I feel sad for them. Eric got cheated on by his trailer park whore and while I do find some small comedy in it, I can tell from his sad pathetic blog posts that he is quite hurt. So instead of laughing, I offered to take him to lunch. Why? Hell if I know. But I felt like he could use a friend. Eh. Getting soft in my old age. Or maybe God has seen way to heal some old scars while I wasn't looking. I even found out today that Darius is engaged to a professor! Ha! That nigga always did know how to find someone to take care of his ass. And while I feel completely sorry for the woman because she has NO clue about her "man", I don't feel any irritation or anger for him. Who am I to hate the player? I don't get it and I don't understand. I guess my old skin and shedding and making way for a new one. It feels good to smile and know that something awesome is in the works. It has to, to feel this good about holding out a hand to someone who kicked me down. Does it make me better than them? Yeah. It kinda does. And there ain't no shame in that.

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