Deja Vu
I have had an interesting past couple of days and unfortunately haven't been in the mood to write about it until now.
I went to pick up my brother from college on Friday and I was very happy to be able to spend time with a couple friends from college. We had dinner and talked about what had changed and much to our own surprises, there weren't that many changes. A new man here or there, but over all life was the same. I haven't had contact with alot of friends that I made in college with the exception of like 2 or 3. I just haven't felt the need. Part of me feels like after we graduated, we ran out of things to talk about. While I was at dinner with my friends, D called but I didn't hear it and he asked me to call him back. I called him a couple times that night but he didn't answer. I didn't really think anything of it. It was after all, a Friday night.
Saturday I drove my brother home. We stopped by a couple stores but I didn't buy anything. I have been in a shopping mood but there hasn't been anything to buy. So I am doing quite a few gift cards this season. I called D a couple more times with no answer. I wasn't worried but I was a bit concerned. It was starting to feel like deja vu.
Sunday came and I called D again to find out the time and place for our dinner but no answer. I sent him an email and left voice mails but around 4 pm it was obvious I was being stood up. Again. For the third time this year. I sat in my computer chair and just cried. I had let him do it to me again. I called up M because it was his birthday and took him out to dinner and brought him a spa gift card. I told him about what D had done and we had a good ex bashing session that really made me smile. Funny thing, I started telling him a story and before I even got half way through it, he was already answering unasked questions. I couldn't help but look at him and think how amazing he really was. When we got back to his house, he started teasing me and expressed an interest in having a 3-some with me and another man. I was kinda shocked because he said it a couple times and it was something we had never really talked about before. We have talked about another girl but never another guy. He wants the other guy to fuck me while I blow him. Orpheus had asked if I had been with 2 guys before sometime ago. The thought is very exciting but the reality kinda makes me nervous. Well it makes me alot nervous. I didn't really let on to my nervousness about the idea and went with it. Besides, it was his birthday. We slept on the sofa afterwards and watched movies. He commented that he would be excited when we gets a larger bed. Personally I enjoy the sofa. It's my favorite place in his house. I left around 5 am that morning. He hugged me and told me thank you for spending time with him on his birthday. For a moment, I was glad that D had cancelled. I got to spend time with an amazing friend.
Monday came and it was my Daddy's birthday so we got his presents together. I left the house to get him a cake but the traffic was so insane with holiday shoppers that I just said forget it. I think I am going to bake him some cookies tomorrow. He loves Christmas cookies and eggnog. He is such a kid sometimes. I guess that's why we get along so well. I was on the phone with my best friend when D called in and flipped over. He said that he had to go to DC to get his daughter because his ex wife and her new fiance' were arguing. The man always has a damn emergency. It still didn't explain why he didn't call. He asked if he could call later and I said "whatever". Needless to say he didn't call back. In fact he hasn't called. He asked me if someone called me and asked for his phone number and I said no, he asked like 3 times and each time I got increasingly annoyed with the question. Probably a stalker chick. Oh well. I sent him an email today, basically telling him about the amount of hurt he has caused me over the past year. I don't really expect a response. He does that, appear and disappear. But finally I realize it wasn't me. It's him. As much as it sucks the way it happened, I feel like I can confidently close out that chapter in my life. I don't feel the need to talk to him anymore. He wouldn't tell me the truth anyway.
I went to pick up my brother from college on Friday and I was very happy to be able to spend time with a couple friends from college. We had dinner and talked about what had changed and much to our own surprises, there weren't that many changes. A new man here or there, but over all life was the same. I haven't had contact with alot of friends that I made in college with the exception of like 2 or 3. I just haven't felt the need. Part of me feels like after we graduated, we ran out of things to talk about. While I was at dinner with my friends, D called but I didn't hear it and he asked me to call him back. I called him a couple times that night but he didn't answer. I didn't really think anything of it. It was after all, a Friday night.
Saturday I drove my brother home. We stopped by a couple stores but I didn't buy anything. I have been in a shopping mood but there hasn't been anything to buy. So I am doing quite a few gift cards this season. I called D a couple more times with no answer. I wasn't worried but I was a bit concerned. It was starting to feel like deja vu.
Sunday came and I called D again to find out the time and place for our dinner but no answer. I sent him an email and left voice mails but around 4 pm it was obvious I was being stood up. Again. For the third time this year. I sat in my computer chair and just cried. I had let him do it to me again. I called up M because it was his birthday and took him out to dinner and brought him a spa gift card. I told him about what D had done and we had a good ex bashing session that really made me smile. Funny thing, I started telling him a story and before I even got half way through it, he was already answering unasked questions. I couldn't help but look at him and think how amazing he really was. When we got back to his house, he started teasing me and expressed an interest in having a 3-some with me and another man. I was kinda shocked because he said it a couple times and it was something we had never really talked about before. We have talked about another girl but never another guy. He wants the other guy to fuck me while I blow him. Orpheus had asked if I had been with 2 guys before sometime ago. The thought is very exciting but the reality kinda makes me nervous. Well it makes me alot nervous. I didn't really let on to my nervousness about the idea and went with it. Besides, it was his birthday. We slept on the sofa afterwards and watched movies. He commented that he would be excited when we gets a larger bed. Personally I enjoy the sofa. It's my favorite place in his house. I left around 5 am that morning. He hugged me and told me thank you for spending time with him on his birthday. For a moment, I was glad that D had cancelled. I got to spend time with an amazing friend.
Monday came and it was my Daddy's birthday so we got his presents together. I left the house to get him a cake but the traffic was so insane with holiday shoppers that I just said forget it. I think I am going to bake him some cookies tomorrow. He loves Christmas cookies and eggnog. He is such a kid sometimes. I guess that's why we get along so well. I was on the phone with my best friend when D called in and flipped over. He said that he had to go to DC to get his daughter because his ex wife and her new fiance' were arguing. The man always has a damn emergency. It still didn't explain why he didn't call. He asked if he could call later and I said "whatever". Needless to say he didn't call back. In fact he hasn't called. He asked me if someone called me and asked for his phone number and I said no, he asked like 3 times and each time I got increasingly annoyed with the question. Probably a stalker chick. Oh well. I sent him an email today, basically telling him about the amount of hurt he has caused me over the past year. I don't really expect a response. He does that, appear and disappear. But finally I realize it wasn't me. It's him. As much as it sucks the way it happened, I feel like I can confidently close out that chapter in my life. I don't feel the need to talk to him anymore. He wouldn't tell me the truth anyway.
posted by J. | 11:48 PM
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