Unpublished

So I have about 10 unpublished posts from the last year, for this blog and I have very seriously considered publishing them lately. I didn't publish them for one reason or another but most of those reasons are moot points at this stage in my life. Some ever make me uncomfortable to read but they were raw feelings written in the thick of feeling them. Some are just secrets that are no longer worth keeping. Many reasons, all moot. I have also considered moving this blog to livejournal or wordpress and having locked posts so those who I would want to read them can. Especially since I have become aware of my new "fan". (And yes I know you read my blogs) But then again I suppose the initial reason for having such would a blog would disappear. I could always just write in Word files. Ehh who knows. I don't write much here anyway. I am not feeling comfortable in my skin lately. Literally. I don't like my skin. I weigh myself almost daily. I hate the number I read. I mentioned to a friend the other day I don't dress up like I used to and I don't do my make up as much anymore and she agreed. It's one thing for me to notice it but for others to see such is inexcusable. I let someone talk me out of it before but this time I am doing it without talking to anyone about it until all the plans are set in motion. I am getting my surgery the beginning of 2011. Already making financial plans for it. Ohh and my braces. And hair treatments. No not comfortable in this skin at all. I am happy God saw fit to place me in a job with decent health benefits. There is nothing wrong that I can't fix. NOTHING. I should be asleep now but so much is running through my mind. I have a house to clean that looks like hell, clothes to pack of this trip and errands to run before Thursday. Man oh man...so much to do, so much to think about.