Becoming...

Today was a normal saturday I suppose.

My parents took a small trip out of town, so I took my brother to work this afternoon. Afterwards I swung by April's house but no one answered the phone so I went to see my aunts. I came home after my mother called needing the car. I was a little irritated with her because she kept repeating the things she needed to do. As I sat at the computer this evening, I began to sulk. I thought about the great time I could have been having this weekend with Eric. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of making plans on someone else's plans. I am little upset with myself. I should know better by now but I put more faith in people than I should sometimes. But that isn't really the part that bothers me the most. What bothers me is that I am becoming the type of woman I dispise. I am starting to care for Eric. It makes me want to throw things. The last thing I want is to fall for another man and end up on the recieving end of bullshit. Not saying he would do that, but my track record with men is pretty crappy. I am sitting here upset because I cannot be with him this weekend and I am even looking for weekends where I can see him. I don't want to become the kind of woman who fawns after a man. I don't want to be the jealous type.

I am afraid that I already am.