Heroes

So today begins one helluva busy week!

Yesterday was Mother's Day and unfortunately I only had enough money for a card until I can get Momma a gift on saturday (I get paid on Friday). I ordered her some shoes from Avon so I have to get them then. My brothers on the other hand didn't get her a thing. Shocked? Neither was I. I suppose I should be used to it by now, but I am not. I didn't go to work until 2 on sunday so I asked my momma to go driving with my on sunday so I could practice a few things before I went to the DMV on monday. That was a horrible idea. I didn't go 5 miles from my house before I had to stop in a parking lot and cry. Everything I did was wrong. And worst of all I could see her damn foot pumping an imaginary brake on the passengers side. I got so upset that I had decided I wouldn't even go to the DMV today. I gave April a call and was in tears. She told me that she thought I was the most persistent person she had ever met and said I was her hero. I had to laugh because lately, the last thing I feel like is anyone's hero. It feels like the world is piling up and I can't shovel fast enough.

Later last night I was getting ready for bed and my brother busted into my room looking for a shirt to wear to school tomorrow with my Alma Mater on it (which happens to be the same school he will be attending in the fall). Needless to say I was pissed that he would wait so late to ask me for it but then he bitched about my shirts being too short. Duh. I am a girl and I like my shirts to hit me at my waist, not my knees. So as I was looking for the shirt I asked him what would he have done if I had gone to another college. He just laughed and said, "I would probably just go there then". My momma claims he wants to be just like his "big sis" and that I should help him transition in to college. Personally I believe in the sink or swim theory but I feel that older sibling instinct kick in from time to time so I feel obligated to help him. Just a bit mind you. Sink or swim, ladies and gentlemen. That's all college is about.

So today is Monday and I spent 3 and a half hours at the DMV. How ridiculous is that?! I live in one of the biggest cities in NC and it took me 3 and a half hours to get through. I am so glad I was off work today. Fortunately, the wait was worth it because now I am a licensed driver. I had the nicest examiner. The lady basically told me everything to do, point for point. My goal was to go in with a pleasant attitude and hope to get the same in return and I did! My brother walked around all day with the pouty mouth and asked me a million and one questions. I don't feel like a licensed driver. It hasn't kicked in yet. I guess I am so focused on these 2 interviews this week to get too excited. I have one interview with a job and another one with the grad program that I want to enter in the fall. I am praying that they go as well as today went.

I have started saying my prayers again. I am at a point in my life where I am ready to take off but I feel like I still need some guidance. I feel like I need my own hero. I need someone to look up to and lean on. Even if God doesn't hear my prayers its good for me to hear them myself. I need to hear myself think and sort out my thoughts and feelings. I have so many, so fast that sometimes I don't know what to do with it all.

Yesterday I sent an email to a Domme friend of Eric's and her reply nearly startled me. She was so nice and said that she had heard great things about me. He had told her about me before I sent the email. I was really shocked to hear that because I didn't think he thought of me as being the kind of person worth mentioning. I guess I was really wrong. A good wrong. She said he spoke highly of me and that he was a good catch. With words like that, I am thinking she is right.