These 3 words

I want you.

Those 3 words are what separate the men from the boys. There is absolutely nothing sexier than hearing a man say "I want you" in that voice. You know the voice. The one where their voice gets low and husky, like a man who is looking for his last breaths. It sounds so sensual, so animalistic. And we know how much I enjoy a man who acts on his primal urges.

Last weekend I went back to my alma mater for a football game and to visit my brother. While I was down there I decided to stop in and see one of my professors from undergrad. Ok, background. This particular professor has been a great help in getting me into graduate school. He not only suggested I go to grad school but wrote a reference letter for me. He also gave me a job my senior year that was phenomenal. That same year I started to notice that on days when I wore low cut shirts (which is often) he would be staring at my breasts. I have DDD's so that isn't anything new to me but it was the look in his eye that stood out. It was the kind of look that said "I want to fuck you". I told a friend of mine about it and she laughed but agreed that he did look at me in that way. We'd often make "old perv" jokes but the truth in it all was, that I kinda had a thing for him too. I have a serious teacher fetish and there were several days that I would look at his desk and wonder how it would feel to be bent over it. So this particular weekend I sent him an email to let him know I would be stopping by to talk about my grad school experience to which he replied for me to call the office and see if he was still there when I got into town. He also sent his cell phone number. Shortly after I got into town and spent time with my brother and his friend I stopped by his office. It was after 5pm so I figured he would have left by then but much to my surprise he was still there. I stepped in his office and was greeted by a huge hug and I mean a HUGE hug. The kind of hug that makes me purr. So afterwards we sat down and talked about school and as I was talking he would tap my foot with his and laugh, which in turn would make me laugh. During the convo I made the comment about being 25 next year and he reached over and toyed with a piece of my hair making the comment that he didn't see any grey hairs yet. I could feel my cheeks getting red at that moment. Playing with my hair is one of the few things that really turns me on. He asked about what was going on in life besides work and school and I told him I didn't have a life beyond that. I did tell him about my accident (which he got up and touched my elbow that got cut) and I told him I went to Halloween party and described my costume to which he replied.."Lt. Uhuru". I was shocked he would even know. Twice while we were talking his wife called but not once did he reply that he had someone in his office. He would simply say "uh-huh...yeah...I'll be done in an hour or 2". After the second call I stood up and said I needed to get going so that he could get home and he laughed telling me not to worry about it. He then asked if he could catch a ride home with me as he had walked to work that day. I said yes and drove him home to his house which wasn't far from the school at all. Before he got out he reached over and laced his fingers with mine and asked me to consider coming back to school there for graduate school if things didn't work out and for me to keep in touch. I agreed and gave him a hug before he got out and went in the house. Now I am unsure how to interpret all of this. I mean he has never touched me at all. Well he did give me a small hug for graduation but other than that, hands to himself. I am not sure if he was being nice..or being NICE. Part of me was dying to sit in his lap while we were talking. And the desk is still there....

This past week I have met a man who warps my mind in ways that it hasn't be in years.I met him online and we chatted online a few times before I let him call me. He is from Chicago, which is far from here and normally I wouldn't bother with it but he truly intrigues me. He is in grad school as well and is a rather well spoken man. His fetishes are outrageous. He enjoys humiliation, oral sex, anal sex, watersports, bestiality, age play and race play just to name a few. Oh...did I mention he is black? That's right..a black man who enjoys race play. It totally blew my mind as most black Doms I meet are usually annoyed with the fact that some black subs enjoy that. He however embraces it and finds within it the completely humiliating nature of it. Now while I don't particularly care of many of his fetishes, he can tell a story that is so vivid that you can almost say.."I get it". So I have decided to share some of my own stories with him which he has truly enjoyed. One night he said to me "I want you" in that voice that makes my body shiver. He keeps making the comment about me coming to see me. I laughed because of course I am not going up there but that someone finds my own fantasies interesting enough to even consider coming this way makes me smile. He makes me uncomfortable and that is a feeling I haven't experienced in sometime. I want to feel uncomfortable around a man. I want to have that ounce of fear...I need to feel like I have lost my control. I want to try things that push my limits, just a bit...or more....

I have also started chatting with a man who I met at the party. He's a white dom who has an interest in black girls. Yeah I know...we hit this topic before. However, this particular man seems alright. I really enjoy talking with him. We actually talk. Can you believe that shit? LOL I ask him about certain topics and he actually talks about them. He puts me in the mind of Aaron. Only slightly though. He plays online rping games and physically is built like him. One night he just let me listen to songs from his music collection. And while that doesn't sound very exciting to most people, I really liked it. I asked him if I could exchange some house cleaning for the opportunity to download some music and burn CD's. He said that sounded good to him. I want the opportunity to serve but lately the idea of doing so sexually doesn't seem to appeal to me. Not to say that I don't want sex. I damn near want it every day but I figure it's time for me to approach this all with a new thought process. Explaining it in words is difficult so I won't even try. Ohh and he said he would take me a better strip club than that shit hole I went to earlier this year. I hate to admit it but I am slightly excited about that.

School still sucks ass. I am currently working on applications to other schools. I am going to go next semester but unless it does a 180 I think its best for me to move on. This of course means I would have to move out which honestly isn't a bad thing. I feel like I missing out on part of my life by being here in this city, living at home. I want to see more than these 4 walls. I want to sit and watch TV in my underwear. I want to buy porn and bring it home and not worry about someone finding it. I want to bring a man home. Well maybe not that last part. But you get where I am going. I just want my freedom. A space to call mine. Not to mention a city that isn't as dull as the one I live in. I am bored here with nothing more to do on friday night than go to the bar or go to walmart. But we will see what the new year and semester brings.

I am pondering what to do for new years. Its been such a big year for me that doing something big for new years only seems fitting. I am thinking of going out of town for a few days. Just dressing up and going out. Take in a couple expensive dinners and do some shopping. Ohh Or maybe even head to Atlanta! Not sure yet but I know I won't be here.

I just got a message from Michael saying "I miss you".

I love those 3 words too. I'm going to curl up in bed and call him and see if maybe I can warp his mind for a while.