California Dreamin'

It's almost hard for me to believe that I have gone to California and back. The trip came and went way too quickly.

Before my trip I left a bit irritated as my mother asked me to hold my car for the weekend because through yet another mindless scheme she seemed to screw money up and not pay her car insurance. Because of that, her and my daddy's tags have to be taken away for 30 days, leaving us with one car for the next month. I had planned to stay over night Tuesday night near the hotel but I ended up having to get up at the ass crack of dawn to drive to the airport. I think I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before.

Since I have spent most of my summer in and out of airports, I have started to enjoy getting to the airport early and browse. It gives me time to wind down and my nerves were on edge from being anxious about the trip and dealing with my momma the day before. I sat beside a man in the terminal and he talked about his city hopping trip he and his wife were taking for their honeymoon. As we talked I watched the sun come up and it was really one of the most beautiful sunrises I have yet to see in my life. The plane trip was decent. I couldn't really sleep well because my feet were cold and the man beside me moved around quite a bit. My back had a small ache from the cramped position I was in so I was even more irritable and tired once I got to the airport in LA. I settled on a bench not long after grabbing my bags. I had pulled out my phone to call Indigo but as soon as I looked up she was running through the doors to get me.

One of Orpheus' other girls, N. picked us up. She looked just like they had described her, right down to the Darfur sign in the window of her minivan. We got lost a couple....few...several times heading to the apartment. If I didn't do anything on this trip, I did alot of laughing. At one point I had an ache in my side from laughing so much. We stopped by the grocery store and I noticed that Indigo had a bit of a dominant side that I hadn't noticed before. Well I didn't really have the opportunity to notice it I guess. Somewhere during the trip, N. lost her phone. Gawd I have no idea what I would do without my raggedy little thing. The incident made me realize that I need to save my numbers somewhere in case I lose my phone. We got to the apartment and I was almost amazed at how close together all the houses/apartments were. But oddly, they all looked like typical Cali blocks look like on TV. It was like it was new and familiar at the same time. I remembered being told about there being children in the house but I guess I was thinking little ones. It got me to wondering about the idea of having children one day and living this lifestyle. It also got me to thinking about telling my own parents but more about that later. Orpheus was working during the day so I spent the daytime with Indigo. She is a wonderful cook! Alot of people make that claim and I have choked and smiled my way through many crappy meals but I was really impressed. The lasagna was amazing. I might need to try that one day. Later in the evening I was reintroduced to another of O's girls, Emah. I remembered her from BB but she was very quiet and didn't speak much then. I wasn't sure if she wasn't chatty or if she didn't like me then. However as the weekend went by I really enjoyed her company. We had alot in common and she has a very beautiful smile when she laughs and smiles. Perhaps one of the most beautiful I have ever seen.

We went to Santa Monica that night and looked at the pier. I love big bodies of water. I find water to be so calming and gentle. We saw a seal which was really exciting. It was a nice way to start off the weekend. Thursday, Indigo and I went to a mall on this ultra cool bus. It's like a super fast city bus, minus that city bus grunge. The mall was impressive. Really. It was huge and I am not even sure if we saw every corner of it. The coolest part of it was the food court. There wasn't a fast food joint in sight. Each restaurant featured a regional type of food. I got a cobb salad that was HUGE. You could feed a small army out of this bowl. The mall used real dishes and silverware for the food court and then came to pick them up after you left. That really put the upscale malls in NC to shame. Throughout my trip I started to see why people in CA are so thin and health conscious. They have choices! I had turkey bacon for the first time (I think) and I am hooked. Who knew? Turkey bacon. I am gonna start buying that instead of the pork kind.

I watched alot of movies this weekend too. I so rarely get to watch TV anymore so this was really a treat for me. I also got the chance to look at some of Indigo's daughter's drawings. She really has a talent. They reminded me of when my brother used o draw. I wish he hadn't put it down. He had (or has) a talent. I have so much respect for artists. I think its a more gift than learned talent and should be honed. One of the more enjoyable parts of the weekend was watching them interact as a family. I love to watch families. In a world where so many are disjointed its a treat to see one that is close and together. Since my brothers have moved out and in a couple of months I will be gone as well, I have become ultra sensitive to things like this. Another thing I enjoyed during my visit was the walks I took with Orpheus. I liked listening to him talk and explain things. Sometimes...hell most times...I feel like I am being talked to and not with. Many Dom/mes are content with saying "because I said so" without explaining the who, what, when, where and whys of it all. He commented that I didn't have any questions but he does a really good job of explaining things. Of course now I have questions...but then again I process slowly.

Friday night he took me out to go to a place called Miss Kitty's Parlour. He described it as a "glam" club, which I was really intrigued by. I wish I had brought something else but I wore a black dress and red shoes and a collar that Emah made. It was a very beautiful collar. It was the first time I had ever worn a collar. I usually refuse to wear one when offered or asked to. In fact it was one of the deal breakers between A and myself. I had always been told that a collar was only worn by owned girls. I didn't protest it, not even a bit. Not fully sure why not but I found myself looking in the mirror to admire it a couple times. I wish I had at least taken a picture of it. It rained like monsoon season when we got to the club and he went in to check and see if anyone was around. He came out and said we could come back later and went to an IHOP to have coffee (well I had juice). We sat a couple hours I think. I am not sure. Time really passed quickly. We talked more and I really enjoyed the chance to get to know him on a more personal level and talk a bit about myself and my twisted journey. He made the comment that he saw potential in me and that really made me smile. I can't remember the last time I heard someone say anything like that. We left and went back by the club but the rain was still pouring and he said that it was still kinda dead. He apologized a couple times for missing the club but honestly I enjoyed IHOP alot better.

Later that night he had me to start learning positions. That's a humbling experience. It's hard for me to believe that I used to be the most flexible person out of all of my friends. I felt like a horse trying to make certain movements. I watched Indigo move and it was like night and day. I started crying a bit at one point and that made me more frustrated because I hate crying in front of people. I got one helluva carpet burn on my knees. That shit is no joke. I have a new task to work on. Thank God for a house with hardwood floors. I think this was the same night we started talking about bdsm resume. OUCH. Talk about a reality check. Now this topic has stuck in my head for a few days now. I couldn't think of anything. I didn't realize until then that my skill really lie in the academic and business world. I don't deny the fact that I focus alot of my life and attention on school and work. After years of watching my parents struggle to keep lights on and food in the house, I decided that the last thing I would EVER be is broke. The idea of living through those days again is painful. But I can't really cook nor do I know much about cigars or alcohol. I guess its because I don't smoke and rarely drink. I don't really make anything craftwise. I make money. I make plans and charts and graphs. I plan programs and banquets. I know the epidemiology of disorders and diseases inside and out. I have a wall full of degrees, plaques and certificates but it wasn't until that moment that I felt I had nothing to offer a dominant. How incredibly humbling and humiliating. It did and does bother me more than a little bit.

Saturday morning I had quite a wake up. O started touching me and I got my first taste of a Hitachi magic wand. OMG. I have seen the things a million times but never tried one. I came hard. I didn't think to warn him about how I tend to come. I soaked the sheets. I was kinda embarrassed. I am probably the only girl in the world who would love a dry orgasm once in a while. We had planned to go see the garment district, which I was really interested in seeing but we didn't make it because we had a late start. We did however get to see this cool outdoor market that I would have loved to explore more had we had more time. I had gumbo from this restaurant but it was mediocre at best. But the experience was wonderful. My momma would love the place. I might have to take her there one day. We went back to the apartment and got dressed to go out. Indigo did a very cute flip with my hair and added a flower to it. I really liked it. I wore my corset for the first time out and I really liked it. It kinda hugs your body. It was a little uncomfortable in the car but luckily the rides weren't too long.

We first went to a dungeon called the Lair which is owned by a black man. It is a really nice place. It is full of different play spaces and a kitchen. You would have thought Orpheus had a small village somewhere coming in with a group of girls. I can't imagine any of the Doms in my group here pulling that off. And I am really trying to think of one. Its not coming to me. So anyway. We had enchiladas and watched a documentary on BDSM that I had missed at BB. It was interesting to look at. Later in the night another girl showed up, who later told me that she was a switch and was learning from Orpheus. She was cute and petite with killer cleavage. Emah and I sat in a room and talked for a while. She told me the story of how she got started in the life and I really enjoyed hearing it. She also told me about how there were times when she was tired of the scene. I was really shocked to hear that. Here I am, trying to go, see and do more and she was speaking of a time when it was getting tiring. I so rarely meet people who are close in age and to meet someone who had some similarities was one of the best parts of my trip.

We left the Lair and went to a club called Dungeon. It wasn't really my kinda spot. It was a goth/techno kinda club. I couldn't really find a beat in the music. We sat in a back room for a bit and then went to the dance floor and watched N. dance. She was having a great time. I really enjoyed watching her have a good time. We left not long afterwards and went back to the Lair. I noticed several times the attention that Indigo paid to O. I am not sure I have ever seen a submissive watch their Dominant so carefully. I saw a level of dedication I have yet to reach but one that I would love to one day. I liked watching the interaction between the two of them. It was love. Plain and simple. I had the opportunity to participate in a scene with the lovely switch. She had some really nice nipples that I enjoyed sucking. I have this breast thing I really should write about one day. I watched Indigo and Emah scene and was really drawn in. I could see where the positions (prostrations) really came into play. They moved like dancers.

It started to get late and I figured I was safe from a scene until I was told to go use the bathroom and undress. I was really nervous but I kept my eyes closed most of the time so I wouldn't see anyone if there was even anyone left to see. I loved it. No...I LOVED it. It's been so long since I have felt a flogger, knife or fire on my skin. I really enjoyed the feeling of the fire being blown on my pussy. Ohh and the knife. I will never know what it is about knives that drive me wild. At one point I had my arms pulled behind me with fingers in my pussy and ass. I am usually not a fan of having my ass fingered but for some reason I really liked it then. I got choked and slapped. I was in a head space for sure after that. We got in bed around 5 am Sunday morning.

I got another treat Sunday morning before leaving for the airport. O fucked me good. I had the wand on my clit and came harder than I ever have in my life. I bit the hell out of my thumb trying to be quiet. I so need a new gag. My pussy was still quivering when I got on the plane. I regret not being able to suck his dick. Mmm...its been a while.

We rushed to the airport. I hate I didn't get a chance to give a better good bye but I was running short on time. I tugged my bags to a place that I was directed to and when told by the man working the area that I was in the wrong place I started to go off. I must have startled him because he patted my back and said that he was teasing. To make it up to me he let me go through the first class security line which took me all of 2 minutes to get through. God bless him. He saved me from missing my flight. Had I been in the regular line I would have been cutting it awful close. I feel asleep on the plane before the take-off. I think I was snoring. I was way too tired to care. I slept the whole way back. I missed all the drink breaks. The trip back seemed alot faster than the one there. I got held up a bit at the baggage claim because I went to the wrong area. Figures.

My momma came to pick me up and the first thing I noticed is that she had been smoking in my car. I got really irritated with her and asked her why she did it. She only responded that she was sorry. Sometimes I wonder about her sometimes. Now I have smoke smell and ashes in my damn car. I am still irritated by that.

Today was a tiring day. I had to get up and take my brother to work and get to work myself. I am going to have to take my momma to work for the next 3 weeks. I am sometimes almost scared to move too far away. My ass is still a little sore and sitting at my desk today was like a fun torment. I started spacing out a bit on and off. One of the work study students came in and asked for something to do. I looked at her a bit strangely because I hadn't had to make a decision in a while. Talk about welcome back. After a series of irritating emails and phone calls I sent her home. I really wasn't in a working mood today. I didn't go to class tonight either. I just need some sleep.

I really didn't expect to have as good of a time as I did. My trip far exceeded my expectations. I can't wait to go back. I would love the opportunity to serve him. I hate that its a 3000 mile distance. In my mind I battle the idea of it and the reality. Can I really see myself in California? I don't know. I really don't know. But what I could see is learning from him. But as my friend told me today, I don't have to solve all the world's questions today.

I think I am going to add a second post to this tomorrow. I am tired and I feel like I am leaving out things.