Ego-trippin'

My day started at 7 am. I got up to take my momma to work but my daddy ushered me back to bed and took her himself. I got back in bed and tried to get some sleep in but all I did was toss and turn. I have been doing that alot lately. I went to work and set up for yet another program. Today's program was on Disability Etiquette. We had a full turn out, which was very exciting. I got a bit irritated when one the attendees complained about the sugar-free cookies that we had put out. I politely explained to her that they were for the people with diabetes who might like a snack aside from the other sweets on the table. She continued to complain about the other snacks. Black people make me so damn sick sometimes. Tomorrow I start working on my banquet for November. Usually I would be excited but at this point, I am just ready for it to all be over. I am a bit behind on some of my homework this week, so its added to my irritability. I hate to be behind on work and the continuous whines and pleas for help during work have interrupted my plans and put me behind there as well. But overall, I was still happy and positive. I had a classmate stop by my desk today to ask for help with her statistics. After our session she gave me a hug. I really needed that hug today.

I went to my counseling class tonight and did another video tape where I was the client. At the end of my tape, my professor asked me "How are you sleeping lately?" I looked at her quizzically and she asked, "do you toss and turn?" I nodded and said yes. She then said to me "You don't have to structure your day so much. Try to relax at night. Learn to say no". I just nodded and went back to my seat. It seemed random to me but I suppose during my interview she picked that up. Sometimes I can't help put think God likes to use other people's tongues. Yeah...

I got online tonight and talked to my friend C. He has been very sick lately so I am always happy to talk to him and check in on his status. I hate he won't make the Halloween party this year. Like I said, this year just won't be the same. I asked about my friend G and why he hadn't answered my messages and he said that G was upset with me. I asked why and he said that he was upset with me about going to California. I couldn't believe that. It really upset me. He said that he was upset because I was doing something risky. I know better. I have known for a while. He got upset with me a while ago when he found out about M. I was really irritated then because had he taken the time to even ask the nature of our relationship, he probably wouldn't have yelled at me. I really get tired of being yelled at for things I didn't do. Or did do. Whatever. Last time I checked, I wasn't dating, courting, married, collared, attached, in a relationship or belonged to anyone. Jealousy is a bitch. I just cried because honestly, I didn't know what else to do. I'm not apologizing. I didn't do anything wrong. But in any case, it wasn't what I needed to end my night with. So I am going to bed as soon as I wrap this up and pray that tomorrow is a better day.