Liar, Liar

I made a trip out of town this weekend to go look at apartments again. I now have 3 finalists and by the grace of God, my Uncle has offered to co-sign on my lease. So tomorrow I will be filling out paper work and hoping for the best. I had dinner with my POC group and it was rather nice. We had a pretty decent turn out. The group founder was irritated at the fact that certain people who said that they were coming decided to back out at the last minute. Another group in town was having a demo and play party. Dinner at a sandwich shop or play party? Hmm the choice seems rather obvious. Sometimes I wish she would stop getting so bent out of shape over people who don't show up. I honestly think that it turns people off. In fact I have been told so. I made a stop by the Cheesecake Factory and grabbed a piece of cheesecake and headed back to my hotel. I rode by the party but from the number of cars in the parking lot, it looked rather dull. I sat in bed and watched TV and talked to M. for the rest of the night. I am also now hooked on this show called A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. I know..I know...

The next morning I had planned to go to the mall and look at boots but I really wanted in a mall mood so I headed down the high way home. I had sent a message to A. earlier last week to ask him to meet me for lunch so we could finally tie up the loose ends and he told me that he was going to a football game in Georgia. I rode by his apartment and lo and behold, his car was sitting out front. I started to leave but I decided today I would speak my piece. I went and knocked on his door and he came out and looked startled to see me there. I asked him how the game was and he said that it was good. I asked if he even went and he said yes and that he had driven back last night. I find that soo hard to believe. So I asked him why he had mentioned wanting to talk and then started ignoring my calls. He said it was because he had nothing to say. I stood in the door and looked at him for a good minute or two and told him that he was liar and how sorry I was for defending his name to the group when they said he was thief and a liar. I looked at him and instantly got disgusted. This man had challenged my commitment to the lifestyle and my submission on more occasions than I could count. He stood in his door the same way he did when he stood me up for our lunch date...like he was afraid. He said we would talk soon and I just shook my head and turned to leave. I wasn't mad at him...I was mad at myself for wasting time on someone who obviously didn't deserve it. He apologized sometime during the conversation but the words were so empty. He would have been better off saying nothing. I never lied to him. I didn't have a reason. It feels like that double standard exists. Subs are supposed to be open and expressive but the Dom can keep secrets and tell lies. Besides, who would punish them if they did anyway? I guess I had to see it, to look him in the eyes. I asked him if he didn't want to talk why did he lie. He said he does want to talk. ARGH! Why do these men have no balls? I can't understand it. And why do I meet them? I will never understand the need to lie. Especially in this lifestyle. Isn't that our whole basis? Truth and honesty? It drives me nuts. When I don't want to talk to someone I just tell them. Maybe he was scared of me. That kinda makes me giggle. *best lil girl smile*

But I decided to just move on. I deleted his number and messenger id and email. Out of sight...out of mind. I guess I tied the loose ends after all. And people wonder why I am the way I am. They are not all like this. I know so....I hope so...

All I can do is vent and pray.

Vent and pray.