A Surprising Weekend
How quickly things change in my life over a matter of a few days. I guess thats one of the things that keeps my life interesting. Last week after the honeymoon bliss of being attached had died off I started to realize I was irritated with my relationship with D. Lately the text messages and phone calls have been only coming over other day. I know I told him I didn't mind the distance but the lack of communication is almost too much for me to take. However, I figured that it wouldn't be a problem since we were going to see each other this past weekend. Saturday morning came and I hadn't heard from him in days. I started not to go out of town but I went anyway, figuring that he would call later and meet me there. He never showed up. I went to my usual monthly group meeting and watched the presentations but honestly I would have to say that my mind was preoccupied with the reality that I was either being stood up or that something had happened to him. Unfortunately I don't wear emotions well on my face and several people noticed that I was not myself. Several times I had to inhale deeply because I could feel the sting of tears starting to show in my eyes. Even Eric, in his own amusing way showed some concern for me. Well that was until his girl arrived. I kinda laughed. There was something familiar in that and actually made me feel better. After the presentation I had dinner with a few people from the group and then retreated back to my hotel room. (Which was beautiful by the way) The moment I hit the door I burst into tears and sat in a chair, deciding there was little to no point for me to go out that night to the social party. I gave Alfred a call and told him my situation, as I realized that he wasn't there earlier.
Well sometime during the conversation I decided to get up and get dressed and head out, if only to watch my friend do her first public scene. I arrived at the party and was a bit amused to find I was one of the more conservatively dressed women there. And I thought my low cut shirt was risque! I guess I am just not there yet. However, I spotted a man with whom I had met earlier at the presentation and spoke to him for a while. He was absolutely charming and quite funny and soon realized that my frustration from earlier was melting away at rapid speed. With him was 2 older men, who had travelled from out of state. I soon found my cheeks were burning from laughing at stories about midget wrestling and bucket fucking. (Ask me about that sometime lol) Occasionally they would ask me if I was playing but between my own self consciousness and my sadness at the change in my plans for the weekend, I would simply reply that I was new and not ready for such. Sometime during the night, as I was watching these men and their skill with floggers and whips, one of them asked me what I was into. And for some reason one of the first things that fell out of my mouth was that I wasn't into pain but I liked hair pulling. Well after a few strokes on my back one of the older men, grabbed my hair and pulled it. I felt like my knees had turned into wet noodles and I was on my knees before I had realized what had happened.
But to make a long story short, I was invited back to their room after the party and I went. I know that sounds insane and hell it still sounds insane but I hate to admit it but I felt more comfortable around them than I did people I had been interacting with for months. Two other girls were in the hotel room as well, as they had been playing with the men at the party. I watched as they did fireplay on the back of one of the girls. I have to admit I am still in amazement over that. I let one of the guys do it to my arm. I think next time I might have to do more. After a while the men laughed because I had my clothes still on but another tug on my hair and I was under again. Now here my memory gets a bit hazy but I remember one, the younger one who was telling the midget stories led me into another room and sat me on a ottoman and took off my shirt while one of the older men had plugged in a violet wand and ran it over my back. My God that is something else! It's like every nerve in your body is jumping. I did alot of wiggling and the guy knelt in front of me and held me, slapping my face and pulling my hair from time to time. I was then turned over on my stomach and had the wand ran over my back while I was being spanked. Then sometime later I was flogged, which surprise surprise I really enjoyed. It wasn't hard at all. I even felt a singletail and the cracking sound of that nearly made me pass out. Ohh and I had birthday spanking too. But the part that just make me squirm even now was as I was sitting in a chair afterwards and I felt something cold run up my back and then suddenly there was a knife at my throat. If I learned anything I have learned that fear turns me on like no other. After everyone else had gone to bed, me and the younger guy (soo sorry about the descriptions, trying to use fewer names) stayed up a while longer and he fucked me with a crop handle. By then I was exhausted and ready for bed. I started to go get dressed to head back to my hotel and he took me by the hand and led me to his bed, promising to be a gentleman. And for the most part he was. He did nestle his dick between my asscheeks but I kinda enjoyed that myself so no complaints here. All of them were gentlemen really. They wrapped me in a blanket, got me a glass of water, even when I insisted I should do the serving. The one with the violet wand held my hand and told me if I ever wanted him to stop all i had to do was say "red". The next morning before I left they showed me the places on my body that should never be hit with a crop. I had no idea about the sides of my thighs. I am glad they told me. I did leave one my email address and he was kind enough to add me to messenger. "Fall in love with the moment and not the people involved". Thats what my friend told me once and I let those words ring in my brain as I got dressed and wished them all a safe trip home. But ugh...so fine was the one who I slept in bed with. And he was a cuddler too!
But in all of this, I still missed my D. I called him job on Monday and he answered, saying that his phone was messed up and he didn't have access to the internet. I am upset with him. Very much so. But I miss him. I am wondering after this weekend if perhaps my best option is to remain single and see what else is out there. I should meet more men like those 3 and test my limits. I am going to tell D about the weekend. Either he will be cool or come out of a bag. I am interested to see which it will be. I have been also spending time with a Dom friend who lives in the city next to mine. He is doll and messages me daily and has been kind enough to listen to my issues through all of this. I know that he is fond of me. And I am quite fond of him as well but I am not sure that I could make it more than a friendship. He doesn't really turn me on or excite me the way that D does or even the way these 3 men do. They all have this look in their eyes, a look that frightens me. There goes that fear thing again. So now I am enjoying the fading sting of my healing bruises and thinking and evaluating my situation. Wondering if maybe all this time that thing that was holding me back was my need to be in a relationship. Perhaps in some strange irony, I am less lonely single and exploring. I want to see these 3 men again sometime soon. Ask them to push me. If they ever come across this blog I hope they know that it is them that I am talking about and that they left a fan for life back in North Carolina.
Well sometime during the conversation I decided to get up and get dressed and head out, if only to watch my friend do her first public scene. I arrived at the party and was a bit amused to find I was one of the more conservatively dressed women there. And I thought my low cut shirt was risque! I guess I am just not there yet. However, I spotted a man with whom I had met earlier at the presentation and spoke to him for a while. He was absolutely charming and quite funny and soon realized that my frustration from earlier was melting away at rapid speed. With him was 2 older men, who had travelled from out of state. I soon found my cheeks were burning from laughing at stories about midget wrestling and bucket fucking. (Ask me about that sometime lol) Occasionally they would ask me if I was playing but between my own self consciousness and my sadness at the change in my plans for the weekend, I would simply reply that I was new and not ready for such. Sometime during the night, as I was watching these men and their skill with floggers and whips, one of them asked me what I was into. And for some reason one of the first things that fell out of my mouth was that I wasn't into pain but I liked hair pulling. Well after a few strokes on my back one of the older men, grabbed my hair and pulled it. I felt like my knees had turned into wet noodles and I was on my knees before I had realized what had happened.
But to make a long story short, I was invited back to their room after the party and I went. I know that sounds insane and hell it still sounds insane but I hate to admit it but I felt more comfortable around them than I did people I had been interacting with for months. Two other girls were in the hotel room as well, as they had been playing with the men at the party. I watched as they did fireplay on the back of one of the girls. I have to admit I am still in amazement over that. I let one of the guys do it to my arm. I think next time I might have to do more. After a while the men laughed because I had my clothes still on but another tug on my hair and I was under again. Now here my memory gets a bit hazy but I remember one, the younger one who was telling the midget stories led me into another room and sat me on a ottoman and took off my shirt while one of the older men had plugged in a violet wand and ran it over my back. My God that is something else! It's like every nerve in your body is jumping. I did alot of wiggling and the guy knelt in front of me and held me, slapping my face and pulling my hair from time to time. I was then turned over on my stomach and had the wand ran over my back while I was being spanked. Then sometime later I was flogged, which surprise surprise I really enjoyed. It wasn't hard at all. I even felt a singletail and the cracking sound of that nearly made me pass out. Ohh and I had birthday spanking too. But the part that just make me squirm even now was as I was sitting in a chair afterwards and I felt something cold run up my back and then suddenly there was a knife at my throat. If I learned anything I have learned that fear turns me on like no other. After everyone else had gone to bed, me and the younger guy (soo sorry about the descriptions, trying to use fewer names) stayed up a while longer and he fucked me with a crop handle. By then I was exhausted and ready for bed. I started to go get dressed to head back to my hotel and he took me by the hand and led me to his bed, promising to be a gentleman. And for the most part he was. He did nestle his dick between my asscheeks but I kinda enjoyed that myself so no complaints here. All of them were gentlemen really. They wrapped me in a blanket, got me a glass of water, even when I insisted I should do the serving. The one with the violet wand held my hand and told me if I ever wanted him to stop all i had to do was say "red". The next morning before I left they showed me the places on my body that should never be hit with a crop. I had no idea about the sides of my thighs. I am glad they told me. I did leave one my email address and he was kind enough to add me to messenger. "Fall in love with the moment and not the people involved". Thats what my friend told me once and I let those words ring in my brain as I got dressed and wished them all a safe trip home. But ugh...so fine was the one who I slept in bed with. And he was a cuddler too!
But in all of this, I still missed my D. I called him job on Monday and he answered, saying that his phone was messed up and he didn't have access to the internet. I am upset with him. Very much so. But I miss him. I am wondering after this weekend if perhaps my best option is to remain single and see what else is out there. I should meet more men like those 3 and test my limits. I am going to tell D about the weekend. Either he will be cool or come out of a bag. I am interested to see which it will be. I have been also spending time with a Dom friend who lives in the city next to mine. He is doll and messages me daily and has been kind enough to listen to my issues through all of this. I know that he is fond of me. And I am quite fond of him as well but I am not sure that I could make it more than a friendship. He doesn't really turn me on or excite me the way that D does or even the way these 3 men do. They all have this look in their eyes, a look that frightens me. There goes that fear thing again. So now I am enjoying the fading sting of my healing bruises and thinking and evaluating my situation. Wondering if maybe all this time that thing that was holding me back was my need to be in a relationship. Perhaps in some strange irony, I am less lonely single and exploring. I want to see these 3 men again sometime soon. Ask them to push me. If they ever come across this blog I hope they know that it is them that I am talking about and that they left a fan for life back in North Carolina.
posted by J. | 11:17 AM
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