Another day in paradise

Days seem to pass so quickly lately.

I can't believe I am in the brink of nearly a whole month since I wrote last. I have made several attempts to sit down and write something but most nights I find myself popping online for a couple minutes to check email and then heading to bed. My online friends are starting to wonder if I have fallen off the planet. I am starting to wonder the same myself. I find my days filled with mindless hours and work and even more mindless hours in class. I am bored with my line up of classes this semester. Its rather disheartening. However, I did receive the best compliment from one of my professors last night who praised my writing skills, even when I know what I turned in was a step above dogshit. I really adore her and her support of me. I am glad that I got the opportunity to get hooked up with her. Work is still a mess. In fact I am currently searching for a new job. So if anyone knows of one, hit me up. Sadly its not the job thats killing me, its the primadonna bitches I work with. Somewhere, someone lied to these girls and told them they were cute. Its really a sad situation when I sit back and realize what the future holds for them. But then again, its not my job to save them. One less stress for me to deal with. I need a job where I don't have to deal with varying levels of estrogen all day and akward work hours that do little for my wallet. Hell, just last night a man I don't even know passed me in the hallway at school and say "Man you look tired". How sick is that? I need to make some serious changes soon. This combination of work and school is toxic.
So in my last post I talked about D missing our weekend. And I was upset for quite a while afterwards. Well I gave his job a call and he answered! (Deja vu isn't it?) He said his phone was messed up and his internet was down and he had no way of contacting me. I wasn't too willing to accept that but I do understand how a situation like that could happen. Well after a couple weeks of minimal communication I expressed to him that I wanted out. I was fully expecting him to take the out but he did quite the opposite and asked for me to be patient with him. And so I said ok. Its too early to tell if its getting better or not but we are supposed to be meeting this weekend again. I am nervous to say the least. I peeked at his myspace page and noticed he put up on his relationship status that he had met someone "VERY special". Sadly, I am not sure if he is talking about me or not. Its almost silly the situation I have put myself in. I have 2 men who leave me daily text messages and one who asked me last week why I didnt spend as much time with him anymore. Whats wrong with me? Am I being stupid or not? I want this to work. But I can't say that I am really that interested in trying as much anymore. This isn't really how I viewed a true M/s relationship. So I will wait patiently and see what the weekend holds for me.
In a light of good news, I did have the chance to speak with another black sub about this lifestyle and how I felt insecure about things at times. It was so nice to speak to someone who had so much in common and not feel like I was going to be scrutinized about it. I am looking forward to speaking to her again sometime in the future. Time passed so quickly when we were talking. I miss that...