Brown Box Blues

So where do I begin?

I am tired. I am beyond tired. I found myself wanting to fall asleep on the way home today from work. As I got closer to the house I ran into some of the worst rain I have ever driven in. It was like floating over water like a boat. When I finally got home my daddy was home from the hospital and bitching about why the refrigerator wasn't cleaned out. I just looked at him and got up and went up stairs. I was way too tired to even answer his question. I fell asleep on the evening news and now my lower back is killing me and begging for a thermacare wrap. And to make matters worst I still have a long way to go on packing. I think I am just going to grab the basics and try to schedule some time in a couple months to come back and grab some more. I have so much to do and sooo little time to do it in. I am also growing increasingly annoyed with my family. My brothers will jump to help a girl move but I ask them to move a couple boxes and you would have thought I asked for their first born son. Its really irritating. I don;t know if they think I am not leaving or if they are anger at me for going. In any case, I am too tired to care either way. O asked me about my weekend with M and I really didn't feel like talking about it. I don't know why, but I never really feel like talking to others about our interactions. I had a good time with him looking at mattresses and chit chatting but the sex was painful and strained. O made the suggestion that maybe M doesn't want me to leave and I don't know if he does or doesn't. I'm not sure that I want to at this point. When he dropped me off sunday he walked out of the house and didn't kiss me. Which I found odd. I had to prompt him to do so. But anywho... its too much to think about right now. So now I am going to crawl in bed and get ready for another day of work, packing and stress. I need a vacation....